my boss fired me without telling me
I asked her to stop, but she refused and has said it is fun. She might not think thats what shes doing, but by bringing it all up like she is, shes chipping away at your reputation one stone at a time. Most restaurant workers will leave and get a job at another restaurant. If you qualify for leave under a Maine or federal law, it may be illegal for your employer to fire you. Its just a joke is what people who know darn well they are making fun of someone say when theyre caught. You changed for the better, but it sounds like Jane changed for the worse. This is not actually how people work, but the differences between that and a more accurate model are often highly nuanced in a way that sounds like distractions and edge cases. At that point, you are totally vested. This is called "COBRA Continuation Coverage." Exactly- when you tell funny stories to break the ice, they usually tend to be about yourself, or friends who *dont mind* you sharing the story. University of Massachusetts Boston Jane bringing them up repeatedly as humor is causing clients to trust OP and the company less. Go with the flow type of guy at heart but people tend to flock to him, follow him. The fact she didnt take your request to stop on board is really bad. This is why what Jane is doing is a real problem that LW can and should take action about it could really cause them a lot of damage. Shes clearly not. I always worked alone, so I didnt have any other employees to manage. I was the manager in name only. Even if you dont qualify for state for federal Family Medical Leave, you may be able to take leave under Maines Earned Paid Leave law. Agreed. is it helpful? Jane is a gossip, who puts her own fun ahead of others comfort. However, there are some exceptions. Shes actively and demonstrably harming your reputation. The store owner never called. That guy decides OPs work cant be trusted b/c of something a brand new employee said? https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/1/21/14315372/what-is-gaslighting-gaslight-movie-ingrid-bergman. federal, state, or local government did not force the company to move or shut down. Dont hesitate to use it (professionally of course.). Jane seems to be having a damn ball, honestly. If an employer fires you for one of these reasons, theyre breaking the law. Different job, different work, different time. If she doesnt understand and respect that, then escalate it to HR. Jane is using as a platform for herself to make herself be in a position of power again, even if its just socially (although I suspect the goal isnt to stop there). They dont remember that I said it firstthey just absorbed it and spouted it out again as if it was their own idea. My dad didnt just die so I probably wont flub it as badly!. I work at a fast food chain and recently they stopped putting me on the schedule all together. How about, I worked in an apparently toxic work environment, with an unprofessional boss, that I didnt thrive in, and Im relieved that ultimately I found an organization where I do feel respected and passionate about the mission. Its really unprofessional to talk about a colleague like this. I would like it to stop and not revisit this issue again.. She is viewing Janes behavior through the lens of Im so indebted to her for treating me with respect instead of Of course I would be treated with respect, thats what I deserved then and what I deserve now. Take away that lens and what have you got? Some states, however, have laws prohibiting these types of deductions from final paychecks. She can just say that they stopped giving her hours, which is the truth. Maybe she feels you dont deserve that, or it makes her insecure about her own career progress, and shes doing this to take you down a peg. The proof is where she pushed back when asked to stop instead of apologizing. Nor does it really matter. Unfortunately, the answer is yes in most cases. In what way is that fun? Gaslighting is getting someone to question their reality (wikipedia), to question the validity of their perception of reality (Websters). You dont get to do something hurtful to someone, decide theyre overreacting and then keep doing it. Thats honestly really crappy. Rose, that is the best ill-wish Ive ever seen. Then the Administrator has another 14 days to notify you of your COBRA rights. They were a decent worker but several policies and training aids were developed because of situations they had a hand in. Most recent example, I did not realize that a decision we made in a conversation from over a month ago would be implemented on a specific day, because we never said that it would be that specific day, but they think I should have known that anyway. The advice is go the boss not tell everyone in the breakroom. Its odd that someone seemingly compassionate would double down and say its all in good fun instead of stopping the behavior. At best, it was unprofessional and indiscrete of her to do this. I believe I have performed well here in this job. Whereas being told please stop and responding cant you take a joke (no matter how phrased) plus continuing the behavior has zero non-malicious intent in any circumstance I can think of. If you earn more than $125,000, you may have to pay more than 35%. She needs to stop undermining you. Jane told OP that OP is overreacting. Learn more about benefit and tax credit programs, Link to the Maine Career Center (Employment Resources), Link to Maine Department of Labor's Maine Employee Rights Guide, Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, & Abuse, Get more details and application form here. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. You can tell your side of the story, have other witnesses speak on your behalf, ask the employer's witnesses questions, and show any paperwork that supports your claim. It depends on how Jane is telling the truth. I think its very likely Alison and other commenters here are right about Janes intent and general character here. You have grounds to goto HR for defamation. Just shrug and say It was seven years ago, I really dont recall what happened then, it doesnt matter.. I think this falls under the old three rules of gossip: I wonder if this is the flip side to having very high social intuitionyou can pick up on rules without having to think about them, but the downside is its harder to slow down and actually think about what information youre taking in from others and why. So Im surprised and disappointed to keep hearing that youre running around undermining my reputation here, especially after Ive asked you to stop. And it took a long time to realize I am not a bad employee, I just had a bad boss. It was a newcomer who Id worked with in an old job, and whod had bad history there. It is no one elses business, and spreading these tales (true or not) is damaging someones reputation unnecessarily. You are vested 100% in all contributions you have made to a pension fund maintained by your employer. Unfortunately, I think the damage may have already been done given people are beginning to treat the OP differently. Maine Human Rights Commission thats really inconsiderate and i hope youre able to get a satisfactory resolution. Join 8,047 readers in helping fund MetaFilter. There are benefits to separation under the doctrine of at-will employment. She is having personal issues with having OP being on the same level as her, so she is doing what she can to put herself on a higher level, even if its superficially. So about 3 months ago I asked to leave my job because a customer coughed on me. Or are they only wanting apologizes but no changes to make the relationship better? Not every horrible thing that humans do to each other is gaslighting. Thats not in good fun, thats just bullying. Since these things happened in LWs adult career and relate to common job expectations, this would indicate that LWs fixed true nature is that of a bad worker and hence their history of apparent good performance is perhaps actually a history of success at concealing their perfidy. Ho. All of this, the key being since its impacting my work, Is it wrong that I am hoping for a update letter where Jane gets told to stop it or get fired and does in fact not stop it and gets fired? And he was like not at the moment but will notify you So I felt like I wasnt let go. Being fired in itself is not a disqualification. Get sample form: Request for Personnel File. I was in an interview about 3 years after being fired from a job (wherein the person before me and the 2 after me were fired. Anonariffic: This was exactly my thought as well. And no, the OP is not imagining this (so Jane is also trying to trivialize the damage she is doing, which is gaslighting). And even gaslighting you about the severity and repercussions of her actions because she doesnt want to cut off that social connection. Ask your employer in writing to tell you the reason you were fired. If Jane had been there and they were considering hiring OP, that is important context to know. Oh man. I dont like Jane either. The only limit is that your employer cannot fire you for an illegal reason, for example based on discrimination or retaliation. According to Michael Kerr, an international business speaker, this can mean that any casual interaction with your boss has nearly evaporated because they seem to view you as more of an annoyance than an asset. Its not the same thing when someones job is impacted. I dont think anybody is saying it should be against the law, but Jane should quit it voluntarily out of the goodness of her heart. Doesnt make her a good person. I think it would take in-depth, repeated examples to make me doubt a known quantity like OP. OP-what is your relationship like with your boss? Ive also been fired and it was because I took a job that I shouldnt have. Dont Miss: Portable Fire Pit With Wheels. Yep. If you're not on the schedule, you're now unemployed. Thats the whole reason. Employees typically have little recourse when they are terminated unless there is evidence of discrimination or otherwise unlawful employment practice. I wouldnt be overly sweet to asking Jane to stop again. I know it sucks having to tell people that you got fired. Not being a great employee is one thing, but it was years ago and not something Id expect vendors or clients to put a lot of weight into *now*. In both cases, I do not include reporting the past history to my immediate boss and HR as trashing their reputation. Jane also does not seem to profess to be uncomfortable working with OP, and OP has worked at this nonprofit for some time, building a positive reputation. I agree. - Quora Something went wrong. If you are not able to handle your boss then you . So funny that were both here now! then that wouldnt be a problem. OP you need to reframe this this was NEVER in good fun on Janes part. She isnt bringing concerns to her manager. A strange chapter of my life was done. Im not excusing the coworkers I think OPs current (sustained) performance should trump whatever Jane is saying but it might explain why theyre willing to believe Jane so easily. 2 antiquated without cellular contract. In most cases, yes. Or, as Alison said, maybe shes going through some things herself now. To qualify, you must wait to file until you are at your new residence, and "be able, available, and actively seeking suitable work". Have I ever given you the impression that was an issue? Therefore, if saying all of the above scripts feel scary please consider getting some short term therapy just to practice repeating them over and over until they feel more natural. Once at the same company and once at another. (Ive always wanted to use that word. I agree. TTY: 711. I dont see how Janes reminiscences could be other than deliberate sabotage. I mean, how about, Jane is indiscreet and unprofessional in the stories she is sharing fro when she was my manager? A note on age discrimination employees over the age of 40 are classified as being part of a protected class younger employees are not. It's not much different than dumping someone by avoiding their phonecalls, etc. (Even though yes I happen to suspect she IS intentionally tearing down OP to make herself look important which IS malicious. But, they get to be.they would have some kind of job or profession that was not in the restaurant businessyourneeddeanc7:50 AMBut why not be truthful?edgeways7:51 AMRuthless Bunny8:12 AMDoubleLune8:22 AMeven if she gets rehired the person who originally sabotaged her could continue to make her life miserable.spaltavian8:23 AMcanthey hertyllwin8:40 AMempath8:41 AMheadnsouth9:03 AMjacquilynne9:18 AMkat5189:32 AMmippy10:15 AMmaxg9412:13 PMconstantlydavejay12:21 PMkat5182:34 PMlooli9:39 PMfireddesuetude10:30 PM. Once. Hi, I'm 17f and I recently got my first job at the start of feb at a burger joint and I thought I was genuinely doing well. Today I went to go check the work group chat to try and get a hold of him through there and I was no longer in it. Surely if Jane had any decency and tact shed realise that bulldozing into someones place of work and telling everyone how they totally sucked when they worked for her isnt exactly the most helpful thing you can do? Good luck! Every one of these stories of people crossing paths down the line, people may not have full context, but it seems like sharing the information is ok with people. Yeah it looks like shes just doing it to be malicious, especially since she was asked to stop and didnt. managing an employee who lies, I was the only one carded at a business lunch, and more, updates: telling recruiters I wouldnt move to a state that discriminates, new boss says everything is fun, and more, update: my boss thinks Im a stoner because I called out on 4/20. But it sounds like the OP wasnt a good employee when she worked for Jane. It will depend on the precise reason being offered by the employer. Your facts could prove the boss discriminated against you and the other workers based upon age. I wrote a bunch of short plays for this one actorhe was usually assigned to me, I liked him but its not like I chose himand he always found a way for his character to take his shirt off onstage. The back feet and the front feet only have 75% the same. that is in the past, leave it there.. She knows absolutely nothing about what Jane said or did after OP was no longer with the company. And an annoying mosquito-like whining noise. After all, the only reason Jane has this information is due to the fact that she was OPs manager. That job was 3 presidents and a pandemic ago. My gut says youre giving Jane so much grace when she doesnt deserve it and Im pulling for you to be able to salvage your reputation! Ill fully agree that I was a problem then, but Im not now and theres a problem that you are creating regardless of your intent with my co-workers here. Eventually my boss had to fire me, and I deserved to be fired! But she does deserve it. You have the right to have - or not to have - a lawyer at this hearing. First find out if you are in a "defined contribution" or a "defined benefit" plan. Unfortunately, things have taken a turn. /r/jobs is the number one community for advice relating to your career. Didnt make the connection between the book and this situation until you said something. Definitely talk to HR or a supervisor you trust. I would, however, wager a bet that Jane did not treat you with the dignity you think she did back then. When Gossipy Coworker started talking about Former and Now Again Current Coworker I interrupted them mid sentence with That doesnt sound at all like NACC. Something is only in good fun if everyone takes it that way. One day, my boss asked me to return the cell phone he had given me. I agree about looping in supervisors at this point or following a second conversation with Jane. To avoid this chain of events, many employers voluntarily disclose the reason for the discharge. The children play with the frogs in jest, but the frogs die in earnest.. Im not sure that having a little fun is actually Janes intention here, despite what she says. If current employee is upset about that, I dont think good management would let him/her bad mouth new employee. I think you've done an admirable job in finding a balance between helping your daughter and letting her find her own way and learn and grow from adversities. It was a courtesy title designed to make me work longer hours for less pay. I agree. You dont even have to say that it doesnt matter, you can just ignore the question. Not only to protect him/herself from Jane but OP is being denigrated and undermined here, and THAT can harm company productivity and efficiency. Maligned, defamatory, catty, harmful, hateful, and unkind actions are malicious, full stop. Gentle light teasing of long night last night or something like that maybe? If I was new at a company and Fergus had already been there for years, and was doing a great job and had a good rapport with coworkers, anything Id say at that point wouldve only had the effect of sabotaging Fergus and undermining all the personal and professional growth hed done, so Id be happy for Fergus, and say absolutely nothing. There is no business reason for Jane to share her story. It was 11 years ago. If I were one of her current reports and heard that she was gossiping about OP like this it would definitely damage my trust in her and my willingness to speak to her bout anything personal. I dont understand why thats not happening here.. Present everything in a matter-of-fact way: Janes little jokes are interfering with my ability to do my job as I now have people like Bill wasting my time as Jane has been telling them to triple-check my work. I wouldnt bother talking to Jane again. To appeal a discharge, follow the steps in the agreement or personnel policy. Also, you gave Jane a chance to stop; she flatly refused to stop and called it good fun. You are now fully justified in formally complaining to both Janes boss and HR. To supervisor. Its just weird to start a job and already spreading stories about a coworker. b) gleefully announce to all that the boy is called Piggy and laugh with his new friends How about Jane is indiscreet about gossiping about personnel matters and I am worried how that might play out in a role that requires discretion like finance. Boss Fired Me Without Telling Me. Thats pretty common in the U.K. Tell her boss about whats happening (or get your boss to tell her boss).
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