boss asked me why i 'm quitting

This is how it should work! Not being allowed to contact the board sounds woefully dysfunctional to me! I had a previous role like that. Jane has left the company. I personally would not be confrontational but I would go back and say that after thinking about it you do not think that it is a good idea to not tell agencies you work with that you will be leaving as it will seem abrupt, that you plan and making an announcement in a few days and see how long she thinks she needs. The organization is now at 100% turnover this year. So pay attention to what youve seen of her up to this point. Hahahaha, Ive asked multiple times at my giant org when someone retires, who is my next point of contact and gottencrickets. He's a bully. Thats someone hoping that issues will magically go away if ignored. I wait for the manager to announce to the larger department that I am moving on. If you were laid off or fired, the company would issue a rap sheet about you to the ENTIRE COMPANY of all the things you did wrong. I told my wife that I was going to start job-hunting in January, but over the Christmas break I got a job offer. by. Janice was shocked when I gave notice. But my experience isnt an anomaly. People justify and defend capitalism endlessly due to the fact that no matter what's happening, workers always have this right. 6. update: how do I avoid mom energy with my younger employees? I do need to tell people Im moving on thats not something we can hide but maybe theres a way I could frame it that will address your concerns. (You dont need to offer this! Nobody wants to risk expressing their unhappiness and finding themselves without a job all together. What is she going to do to you in the short OR the long run? 4. After my horrible departure, I ended up at a company that has become a big part of my life, Seer Interactive. This. Do I jeopardize my relationships that I had built by not telling the company and then giving them a generous 4 week notice? Either way, do not tell the board this thing that affects the operations of the organization isnt okay as a general rule (and the board likely wouldnt be thrilled if they found out she told you that). No severance was granted and I was immediately escorted from the premises. It was with a non-profit organization. It just bothered me that I had no idea where they told clients I had gone. Im sorry you are worrying about all this when youre getting ready to start a new job. Theyre a different group of people. Seer does this through responding to situations in a very human way. You and I make such a great team! It really doesnt sound like OPs manager clearly communicated the plan or took her interests into account. I couldnt be more happy or grateful for this opportunity. The comment that your departure may mar your contributions sounds like a desperate attempt to scare you into silence. 3. No doubt this organization already looks unstable within the community. She wanted to pretend you werent leaving full stop. Tell her that your old boss offered you an assignment that you couldn't refuse, and wish her well. He yells at Janice and all of us for no reason. Bringing up legal issues is a good way to get all further communication done in writing via the legal department. Be Professional. I dont know why managers think they have a hold over people who are leaving. However, the shadiness comes at a cost. Tenures are getting shorter and shorter. by Alison Green on April 17, 2017. 2. Had something like this happen with a coworker (Ill call G) leaving an old job about 6 years ago. I was ready to walk out the door if necessary. By acting this way, they have confirmed my decision to leave was correct and that while I wont trash the company, I will remember the people that treated me this way as I move on to new things. That was a stalling technique on my part. Remind yourself why you wanted to leave. That soundsbrilliant. *Id like to hope you didnt make comments when your employee left about how their contributions might be seen differently if they did something like inform THE BOARD that they had resigned*. At this point in my career, I would double down in telling everyone immediately not disparage the org even if they deserve it but definitely put it on social media and cheerfully tell people Ive got a new exciting job and my transition timeline is x number of days/weeks! Leaving a job youve been at for 35 years since 1986! That way, your hands are technically clean. :p. Thats always the baffling part its a secret until you leave, but what are they gonna do when youre gone? (Also: your username made me smile; love that plant. I left a job a couple of years ago and I was told not to tell any clients I was leaving, until right at the end when they would have something pending for like the *next day* and I needed to tell them they would have a different point of contact. But as stated in the response it's a very short term ask. This boss saw anyone who left as a betrayal, no matter the reason. Janice is your manager, not your friend. A bad boss will treat it as treachery and is thinking more about that temporary inconvenience. Yet so many times when we exercise this right, some bosses are nothing but miffed. and gotten an auto-reply which said Sarras no longer with the company. Or it could just be a desperate statement without any real intent behind it. As far as I'm concerned, nobody should have to put up with a boss's verbal abuse at work. my boss is upset that I told my coworkers I was resigning before I told him. But how you leave, and who you tell what completely depends on the type of job you have. It sounded to me like a threat. We hired her and she was great. Also, if for some reason your well laid-out process doesnt happen (youre on leave, theres some rush in the timetable, whatever), its not a catastrophe either. Oddly enough, changing the conversation around how people quit can be a powerful retention tool. 1. My old boss from two jobs ago called me two days after Christmas and asked me to come and work with him again. Something that convey how much you value the time youve spent there and where you are heading next. Any advice would be appreciated. 4. When I left my job in June this year, they told me to not tell any of my clients they wanted to handle it. Exactly. It sounds like your boss is worried that with all the turnover the organization has had in the last few months, when people hear that youre leaving too, theyre going to think the organization is fully crumbling or something horrible is happening. Hiding the fact that someone is leaving will just make it look abrupt and weird vs giving people time to transition being professional. Ones who usually 1. have a strong loyalty to the org and/or the volunteer contact/coordinator, and 2. can disappear into the wind easily. Whats the boss going to do, fire them? Over at Reddits legaladvice sub, we sometimes *do* have a feeling that theres more to the story, but there as here, IMO, if the person seeking advice has misrepresented things, the resulting advice will be imperfect and/or harmful. what are the best jobs while youre in school? I do think it was probably not a good move to start telling outside parties like volunteers literally immediately after giving notice though, already talking about succession planning before your boss has had any time to process the information or discuss with upper management or anything. I always assume someone was fired if they disappear suddenly without warning. Ive approached my boss several times just asking what I can do to help get that ball rolling and..nothing. As for the board of directors in a lot of nonprofits the staff doesnt have much contact with the board, but Im guessing that you do since youre bringing it up. With respect, I think maybe your bad experience is causing some unintentional bias against this writer. What, did I get fired? 3. Admittedly my raised voice was quieter and shorter than some of the others, (mostly consisting of me saying Are you calling me a liar? very loudly), but still. I worked at a very tumultuous non-profit with high turn over. Reviewing the job description and updating if necessary Between the time that I get a resignation and its announced is usually 24/48 hours and heres what Im doing in the background. My wife actually said a little while ago along the lines of well of course we [her coworkers] cant tell each other what we make because its illegal and I had to stop her and clear that up real quick. A few colleagues/friends of mine secretly told me they were quitting, and felt like they had to keep it a secret, even when their 2 weeks notice had passed! Its one thing for a manager to say, Can you give us a few days to figure out the plan before you announce it to others? That can be reasonable, particularly in a situation where hearing someone is leaving is likely to generate lots of anxious questions about how their work will be covered, or what it means for the X project, or so forth. So shes going to look a bit odd to them if she pushes back. I think perhaps OP should have waited to tell the volunteers the news-not that her telling was bad or unprofessional, but just that it wouldve been better to tell them who was taking over or who to contact. Yes, your boss is being weird and unreasonable, but telling volunteers youre leaving right after giving notice and/or without an actual plan isnt great. I think thats better than putting them off by waffling about with some non-answer, if they normally discussed these things at this time. None of us were supposed to tell anyone he was leaving, which we all thought was weird. Several of us warned the higher ups about the new manager but they didnt listen, so a chunk of the team left within 6 months. Yay exciting! If someone tells you how vital your work there is, say, "Thank you. That simply doesnt happen in a decent, non-toxic office environment. Think of it this way: You never have to reveal your true emotional reasons for leaving. Your manager wanted to pretend you werent leaving because she didnt want to risk the grant. She didnt want to deal with reality. So if I were in your shoes Id do my best to avoid saying bupkis to anyone about my leaving *while in the building/using company resources/during work time/through normal work channels*. Change happens, you figure your stuff out, but dont lie to me, your client! After talking to many internal confidants at Seer, I was encouraged to tell our Director of HR that I was thinking of leaving. I tell my boss. Business is business and people have every right to pursue their lives as they choose. But many bosses still get mad when you leave! The LW already turned in her resignation by the time she was letting some of her contacts know that she was leaving. 3. Incidentally, my organization has a routine multi-step process, which involves putting together a transition plan, making formal announcements, doing exit interviews, etc. Or not. Yeah, the organization looks unstable because it is unstable. I never would have been mad at an employee for quitting, and I would have looked at my own performance as a supervisor before looking anywhere else for an answer as to why. If I were a client/customer and my point of contact vanished with no transition plan, Id question the companys ability to support my future projects. I personally keep my life drama free and would do as little as possible when leaving a job to create any. In reality they had to let most of my unit go because they were hemorrhaging money. I was then instructed not to tell anyone else, including members of our board, about my departure because it might mar my contributions if word gets around town.. I think Ive told this story here before, but my boss did this to me. I had a boss ask this of me (13 years ago) when I gave my 2 weeks after 8 years with the company in good standing (promoted twice, consistently positive reviews). She's thrown you to the wolves --so why waste your precious mojo feeling sorry for her? whats the pettiest thing youve done at work (or seen done)? The Board immediately reached out to someone else to help me. Another one of my favorites from Seer is their commitment to the growth of their employees both during their time working there and after they depart. I also volunteer, and if I normally scheduled something at this time with OP for an event next year, and suddenly this year she was all evasive, THEN I would be worried: is the event maybe not going to happen next year? Still, Im quite confident in concluding that this new leadership sucks. I would probably have saved that kind of communication for near the end of your notice like Goodbye, its been great working with you, if you have any questions in the meantime you should contact XXX@nonprofit.com or whatever. 1. Not to mention that my mother had just died and my cat got ill and had to be put to sleep. Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images. She has her own reputation to look out for. One of the best ways Ive seen Seer do this is through company benefits that show that they trust their employees: unlimited paid time off, flexible hours, personal development budget, and great health care all communicate: Hey, we care about your well being, and trust you to do your job well, so were going to treat you like adults.. Except that its up to her to say to the LW OK, with the turnover in our organization I would like to avoid giving our customers the impression that things are unstable here, so here is how I want to go about communicating this That is, its not up to the LW to anticipate this desire and abstain from completely normal conversation about doing a completely normal thing (changing jobs). Theres always a follow-up caveat about their behaviour after that point, and if they are failing to make that transition professionally. This sounds familiar. You're not the first person who's ever quit, and you won't be the last. I've been in supervisory roles before, and I know 100% that a subordinate works a job due to a mix of choice and financial obligation, and their remaining an employee was very much dependent on my ability to lead them well. I wouldn't hesitate to get in his face. I'm sure you'll find someone good to replace me.". She asked me to sit on the news while she found a replacement and could make the announcement of my leaving and replacement at the same time which turned out to be over 3 weeks. Then just go ahead and keep doing what youre doing. But if you have to train anyone, or transition your duties to a colleague, or provide clients with information they need once you leave, etc., its not always that simple. For a variety of reasons he had enough of that job. This is public information inside (and outside) Seer and acts as an example for other employees who want to quit better.. Telling your boss that you're leaving is one the hardest . I was a teacher and stayed through the end of the year, which gave them several months notice, even though my husband was already gone. The LW has also their own reputation to consider, after all. You destroyed the plausible cover story for massive turnover by not fitting under the retirement umbrella. May 06, 2022. She might just be stalling for time but who knows what story she might come up with to explain your departure, and who knows how that story will reflect on you. What legal implications? To be clear, I think this is also an area where its possible that the employees grasp on things is off. 4. It is common courtesy after submitting your resignation to ask your boss how they want to handle communication about your departure. At my last job, we werent allowed to tell ANYONE but our boss that we were leaving. I lost my job in June and didn't find a new job until September. When I had been there a few years one of our partners around an annual event commented on how nice it was to actually have the same person to talk to multiple years in a row instead of having to explain things again to a new person every year. I had to once, when I needed support and my official support person was part of the reason why I needed support. LW, I think you have it right, I think your message to the volunteers was perfect and I hope youre able to continue letting people know that youre leaving. And if this is how the bosses normally behave, then Im not suprised they have serious problems keeping people on staff. That was how it felt in the moment, so I stammered my way out of the meeting and am now sitting here worried that if I, say, update my LinkedIn, shes going to find out and retaliate against me. If she starts full on slandering you, Id consult a lawyer. The of course is to convey that their plans are completely reasonable. Theres a process announcements of that sort come through a central communications office. Respecting both your managers and your colleagues, and valuing the relationships within the company provides an additional motivator to want a respectful departure. They told my primary client less than a week before my last day. It sounds as if your boss is panicking. Specifically, its not totally clear what her manager intended long-term it is clear that she wanted her to hold on telling people and that was addressed because she didnt consult her manager about it before doing so. If you arent comfortable using Alisons suggestions for language, I would at the very least tell her that you wont go around telling people youre leaving, but you wont lie about it either if asked, or if something comes up that forces you to let someone know. And I think maybe what happened here was a mismatch of expectations? When I left my first job out of college my boss got mad, and this was why. The thing is that everyone else on the team including Janice is afraid of Neil. 2. Sort of he is the only one who does his job here, and a large part of it must be done physically in-person so while we were all shelter in place he couldnt do it anyway and no one requested his help; but now that we are semi-back everyone keeps asking for the service he provides and . Its just not comparable, if were trying to reasonably intuit some things the LW may have left out. If your plan doesnt take my interests into account, Im going to make my own. If I tell her the truth I think it will only make her feel . But a blanket band against you telling anyone even inside the company is worse, though it does seem to come up here surprisingly often! Do they have a nasty love of power over others? 1. Sounds to me like Boss is trying to save her own skin. Youre not the one whos making the organization look unstable. And provided a timeline. I had a boss do this. Right? all of whom had long tenures with the organization (up to 35 years) and stellar service records.. He made me speak at a parent meeting as if I was returning, then stood up and told them I was leaving, making me look like a liar and an idiot. He made a lot of comments like that in my last days, and Im not sure whether the goal was to make me feel like leaving was a hasty and stupid decision, to somehow get me to stay longer by highlighting all the transition work I hadnt done, or just to feel a bit more power over me. Found out during my notice when a couple of her peers shared she was doing this & I then told everyone I was leaving for a new opportunity and then she was dead to me ;). I have had staff leave and my reaction was to congratulate and facilitate an easy transition. The OPs boss however does seem a bit off in their reaction and does have the whiff of rotten, but thats not always the case. I was moving because my husband got a job in ANOTHER STATE, but whatever. This reminds me of the nonprofit I worked at that had a TON of turnover because it was such a toxic place. And what would be my recourse if she did? This week I gave my boss notice that Im starting a new position next month. I saw that she had a new job on LinkedIn. "[Not] telling your boss you're quitting" is a broad issue spread over many questions, the closest duplicate to mine is probably here.The consensus is that you have no obligation to prewarn employers that you're looking elsewhere and there are unnecessary risks in doing so. It will likely not look good on you. Very unreasonable expectation on your boss part and it certainly wont make planning your replacement easier. It was April, my flight was in August, and I was scared. Are they unhappy with me and not wanting me back for some reason? But she wasnt incredibly professionally mature, she had an inflated notion of her own strategic acumen, and that had the potential to create long-term damage to the organization if we just let her express herself as she wanted, when she wanted, according to her own whims. She was almost in tears. All you have to do is tell a few individuals and let the rumor mill take it from there. Finally a few days ago I pulled some trusted folks aside and gave them a heads up so they wouldnt be blindsided. It is not something Id personally do unless it was coworkers I was particularly close to, but my reasoning there would more be out of fear of the employer firing me before I could resign. I am inclined to trust the LWs narrative here, not just because of Allisons request that we take the LWs at their word. It starts to build a tight knit group of individuals that even if you dont work with someone you start to get to know them on a personal level and understand what they do for potential collaborations in the future. I fully agree that the OPs boss doesnt seem to be on the up and up with their actions and comments, my comment was more to address the why would a manager ask an employee not to say anything question I realize all of that background stuff isnt necessarily well known from the employee side. Whatever they did to prompt the entire staff to leave within a few months after the leadership transition is whats making the organization look unstable. Oh my goodness, I think you just answered my burning question, Sparkles! 4. Theres no indication that that is the type of work the LW does though because the people they planned to inform were volunteers and board members.

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